I was brought up in a household where we went to church almost every Sunday. It was so abstract to me. Before receiving first communion, I literally thought that the adults had a password that allowed them have the host. I didn’t connect to the whole sha-bang.
Middle school I drifted from that particular religion. I didn’t agree in certain things people were saying where I was going. Early high school time, I found a church where I felt connected with the Youth Group. I still stay in touch with one of the youth group leaders from there. But when I went to college, after my first year, I frankly got lazy to go to that church and drifted again.
I am one of those people who can attest to the statement that “some people grow more religious when they get older.” When your relatives end up having cancer, when friends’ relatives, grandparents, parents, etc. have an illness or pass, when people you walked in the hallway with in high school and sat in on the same class with and talked to suddenly die from a car crash- you tend to realize if one doesn’t believe in anything greater than what we have now- just think that it is this world and nothing else- well, it’s a pretty grim outlook on the life that we are given.
Throughout some of my tumultuous/chaotic times in my life, I did not look towards religion. I was broken, still was like that small child who saw religion as too abstract, that I looked towards the comfort of others. When family life got hectic, I was fortunate to have those awesome teachers who made the atmosphere around me a safe haven/environment to escape for the crap that I had to go home to… sometimes kids need a safe haven/environment to escape from some harsh events that life entails…
I haven ‘t found a concrete psychological term for these sort of people- it’s a combo of satisfying Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but it makes sense to me- it isn’t abstract- it is comprehensible…and it really just dawned on me the last couple of days, in concise words and not elenize.
Saying “earthly saving grace” to me is another phrase for what I first think of — ones “anti-drug.”
Without the relationships of some people in my life, especially the last few years towards end of high school up til now, the unconditional love of certain youngsters, the wisdom and constant presence of certain elders and those who I seek for advice, the people who are there for me for thick and thin, through my adventures and my times of frustration when the adventures suddenly seem like a huge science theory rather than a language that I can somehow decode and figure out, I would not have ended up in a good place. Point blank. I could have gotten into a lot of bad things, established relationships with people who are lost and are bad influences for a young woman trying to find her place in this world…. could have gotten into drugs, bad partner relationships, or corrupted my morals and values to oblivion. If I didn’t have those people who believed in me, who took me under their wing or listened when I had to vent or just “let it go,” I wouldn’t have ended up to be the person who I am today….
The people who have helped me know who they are. Thank you. You are awesome, beautiful people. You have accepted me even when I haven’t felt like I could be successful at certain times of my life- you have accepted me for who I am and haven’t made me feel like I should be sorry- You have never shut the door and locked the door behind me.
For some, especially those who have always have made me feel a part of something bigger than a single young woman whose biological and extended family are mostly out of state, you are my “earthly saving graces”- my anti-drug. My faith in God is stronger and more so than ever before, and I must say, he has blessed me with amazing loving people around me- and to make me see that, even when I didn’t quite see how much He is the amazing and loving figure behind the scenes. They- and He through them- have made me a better person. Makes me a better person. Makes me realize how family/friends and God are top in my priorities in life.
Thank you for being who you are…and those who do not know me, thank YOU for being who you are… because I know YOU make a difference in peoples’ lives, and are that “rock/anchor/anti-drug/etc.” and will be that type of person for someone in the future, perhaps someone who you don’t even know yet.
Have a comforting weekend with people you know- or if you are not able to see them- if you are reading this blog, you can shoot and email to someone to say hi or thank someone, or that you were thinking of them.